Sow’s Ear
10/21/10
“There’s
gotta be something in my body Britney.
It itches so bad…Whatever it
is wants to come out. I gotta get it
out.”
Cathy
Simmons stood before a cracked full length mirror and stared at herself. She was feverish and her green eyes were
glassy. Naked except for the dirty pair
of pink cotton panties she wore; her body was death camp skinny, full of sores,
and pale. Her blond hair fell passed her
shoulders in locks bound together by weeks of grease.
“Damned
mirror.” She said to the picture of
Britney Spears in her teen years taped to the glass. “Can’t see anything is this damned
mirror. Never could. Need to find a new mirror. Need a big one. Yeah.
A big one to see everything in. I
need to see all of me.”
The
single wide trailer she stood in was nearly vacant. A mound of filthy blankets and pillows was shoved
into a corner. Black mold grew up the walls. The carpet stank of mildew and cat
piss. Three of the trailer’s four windows were broken out and taped over with
cardboard. The fourth still held glass, but was covered by a Nine Inch Nails
poster.
Cathy
energetically dug at the gruesome sore on her upper lip with the dirt encrusted
index finger of her right hand.
“Damn
Brit!” She exclaimed. “I can’t understand why I keep getting these
things! I get at them and I get at them
but they never go away!”
Cathy
smiled and cocked her head to get a better look at herself. Her teeth were red. Blood ran from her mouth
and down her chin.
“Maybe
a little cover up will help, yeah, a little cover up will definitely help. Or foundation? That may work.” She said. “I don’t know about
these damned things. I go through a
bottle of foundation a day to try and hide them.”
Again
she worked at her lip sore and pulled away small bits of flesh..
“Maybe
I should do something with my hair. It’s
too stringy and too blond. Make’s me
look all washed out. My eyes too green. Red maybe?
Maybe black?” She asked the picture. “I don’t know, a cut? No, it’s too short already. Maybe extensions like yours?”
She
ran her bloody hands through her hair and slicked it back.
“I
could go bald like you did Brit.
Something out of the blue. Get
some tattoos too. Something classy right
here.” Cathy touched her chest and left
a bloody print. “Some lips like what you
got on your wrist. That would be
beautiful. Beautiful lips, I wonder what
your lips feel like Brit? Ugh! My wrist itches!”
Without
thought Cathy scratched the inside of her left wrist and raised a welt. Focused on her reflection, Cathy soon tore a hole
in her skin.
“Where
could I go to get my hair done like yours for cheap though? No where that’s where.” She said then sneered evilly. “Those bitches at the salon always charge me
twice what they charge everyone else and then they call me a dope fiend behind
my back. But you wouldn’t take that
would you Brit? Not at all. You would have those bitches fired. I know you would. Yeah that’s right.”
Finally,
she raised her arm, looked at the bleeding gouges, and then laughed joyfully. Cathy
showed her arm to the clipping.
“I
think I got it out! I think I got it out
Britney!” She shouted. “Now I’m as beautiful as you!”
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